Grief
No grief is the same. Even though situations may be similar every friendship or relationship has a different dynamic and because of this, no grieving process is the same.
There are many ways to work through the grieving process and each person has their own unique way of handling it. There really is no right or wrong way to handle it however understanding how the grieving process may affect you and being willing to actively work through it will provide you with the tools necessary to choose what path is best for you.
Have you heard the saying “there is strength in numbers”? Gathering in the form of funeral, memorial service, and celebration of life to support each other shows you are not alone. There is a need to address your feelings and grieve properly. This is an important step in mapping out your road to recovery. It is important to know everyone processes and recovers at a different speed, there is no right or wrong way to grieve or definite timetable. Do not get discouraged. The amount of time it takes does not matter, the only thing that matters is you are working through the process one step at a time.
Dealing with a loss during special occasions. Birthdays, anniversaries, and holidays can be difficult. There are many ways to help cope with this grief and this too can differ from person to person. A few ways people deal with a loss in a tangible way are through keepsakes, grief journaling, scrapbooking, memory quilting, fingerprint jewelry, photo albums and even starting a new tradition in the deceased’s honor. Prayer, worship, and signing may also provide comfort for those who have a foundation in faith.
Funeral and memorial services are necessary for providing support immediately after a loss however ongoing support is also crucial in dealing with your grief. You may be tempted to do this on your own, and there is certainly a time for that however you need to involve those family and friends closest to you to provide support.
Rely on your friends and family members to help you, avoid the trap of “putting on a good face” or thinking that “I have it all figured out”. If the roles were reversed, wouldn’t you want to help a friend or family member in their time of need?
We don’t move on, we move forward. Moving through the grieving process does not mean you are doing a disservice to the one you have lost. This also does not mean you are moving on from them or removing the memories you created together. In fact, it actually means the opposite. The whole reason you are grieving in the first place is because of the impression and impact they have made on your life and others around you.
Do your best to focus on what you have, not necessarily what you have lost. Although this is easier said than done, try to focus on the memories and times you enjoyed together. Be thankful for the time you had together and the memories you were able to make. This can also help you appreciate the people in your life now and help grow closer connections and relationships.
